On October 12 I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks.
This was one of the hardest things to experience. It’s something I never thought I would experience. I never planned on getting pregnant especially not at 18 years old. But God sometimes has other plans.
I found out I was pregnant on September 28. I was scared shitless. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even tell anyone until October 1. I talked with the dad and he wasn’t excited but supportive of what decision i was to decide. A couple days went past I called around and couldn’t find a OBGYN. They were all full. Apparently all this quarantining caused an increase in pregnancy. Since I couldn’t find an OBGYN I never got to have an ultrasound until it was too late. I took precautions with my baby’s best interest at heart until i figured out what I was going to do. I picked up some over the counter prenatal vitamins and took those twice a day.
Things seemed to going fine. I experienced some pregnancy symptoms. Morning sickness, exhaustion, frequent urination, and headaches. I worked at a daycare during this time period. I looked forward to seeing the kids grow and i got excited thinking about starting a family.
October 12 2021
It started out as a normal day. Woke up took my meds, and off to work. I got to the daycare that morning a but earlier than usually because we were short staffed. I was in the 12-24 month room. I was just playing with the kids and such all morning. At 10:45 I had my 10 minute break. I got some water, and used the restroom. Looking down and seeing the blood still haunts me today. I saw that blood and I froze. I called my best friend he said call your mom and go to the hospital.
I went back to my room pale and in shock. I told my boss I had to go cause I was bleeding. She said go its fine I will figure something out. I clocked out went to my car and drove to the walk in. I talked to the nurse and she said I need to go to the ER due to me being in first trimester. I went to ER. Got checked in. They did blood work. Once I saw the doctor she said listen I don’t know what I am doing in this situation, you are my first pregnant man I’ve seen. I am going to run some tests and then send the results to your doctor for a diagnosis. Shortly after I saw the doctor my boyfriend got there. Next I had an ultrasound and a vaginal ultrasound, papsmeer, and pelvic exam. They diagnosed me with an enlarged uterus and inter utero bleeding. The next day I heard from my doctor she said you had a miscarriage at approximately 8 weeks. I was heart broken and angry.
After that call I pushed my emotions aside. I didn’t want to feel the grief that came with it. It is now November 8 and I am finally working through grief. But I will never forget about baby one even if I never got to meet them. I loved them. One day I will meet them so until then baby fly high ❤️❤️
Being Transgender in ND 